I was driving home from a delightful event today when I got behind a car whose driver threatened me twice with his bumper stickers.

One sticker said, “Keep honking, I’m reloading.” I’ve seen this bumper sticker before and can understand the frustration of being honked at, although I don’t believe being honked at is grounds for capping someone’s ass.

The other sticker was truly appalling. It had a silhouette of a gun and said, “I don’t dial 911.” Really? If someone’s hurt in an accident, you’re just going to take out your gun and shoot them? That’s what your bumper sticker tells me you’re going to do. Remind me never to get in an accident around you, if that’s the way you feel, although it’s hard to imagine you feel anything for your fellow human beings when you’re proudly displaying such a message. How would you like it if you got into an accident and witnesses read that bumper sticker and decided they couldn’t remember how to dial 911? Honestly. And we wonder why other countries view the United States as such a violent nation.

(Can you tell how mad I am? I slipped into second-person there, scolding the driver like I’d scold my kids if they put this sticker on their cars. Is the rest of the world really so untrustworthy that we all have to be preemptively forewarned that the driver is a bad ass?)

(And, please, if you think I’m a bleeding-heart, anti-gun liberal who thinks all guns should be banned, save it. I grew up in a hunting family, took gun safety, and understand that guns are useful tools under the right conditions. Capping accident victims is not the right condition.)