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Post number 3 from Mz. Woo’s Guide to Life, Favorite Socks, was originally posted on June 6, 2001.

— Favorite Socks —

Mz. Woo has a drawer full of socks. It is sitting on her dining table, serving as inspiration while she writes this. In her sock drawer are 16 pairs of ankle socks, 15 pairs of knee highs, and 3 pairs of in-betweens. She also has 4 pairs of knee-high nylons, which she never wears (what are they doing in her drawer?), so she isn’t going to count them (too late, already counted), plus 2 pairs of knee highs in the laundry basket and a pair of ankle socks on her feet.

As you can see, Mz. Woo has a lot of socks, which is a necessity in a location that experiences 4 distinct seasons. Also, because socks are small and relatively inexpensive, it is easy to collect great bunches of them.

Among these bunches of socks, Mz. Woo has certain favorites: a grey pair of ankle socks with pink and white flowers, a soft grey pair of knee highs with light blue toes and a light blue ring around the tops, a pair of knee highs in a grey, black and white argyle with a hint of pink, a brown pair of knee highs covered in tiny cream Vs with a fancy green, brown and cream pattern and the tops, and a bright green pair of knee highs (one of which was lost under the washing machine for months and months and only just found).

By looking at this list, Mz. Woo realizes that she has a definite preference for knee highs and socks that are loaded with visual interest. Grey appeals to her, as well, as it is a feature color in 3 of her 5 favorite pairs of socks.

It might be tempting for Mz. Woo to wear her favorite pairs of socks all the time. She was thinking this as she was wearing one of her favorites the other day (the grey knee highs with the light blue toes). Wouldn’t it be nice to wear these socks every day? And then she realized that her shins were sweating. And for as comfortable and lovely as these socks are most of the time, she wanted to peel them off because it was too warm to be wearing knee highs. She ought to have been wearing the grey ankle socks with the pink and white flowers. But, alas! They were back home in her drawer.

Mz. Woo says: No matter how much you love your favorite socks, they cannot do everything for you.

Mz. Woo recommends: Christopher Moore’s F**KSOX, which come not in pairs but in throx, for when you lose a sock.