Here goes nothing. I’m transferring the four posts I wrote for the soon-to-be-disappearing “Mz. Woo’s Guide to Life” (G2L) blog. I started the blog in hopes of developing an idea that could turn into a book, but quickly realized I couldn’t keep up with two full-fledged blogs at once.
In my mind, Mz. Woo is a fictional advice giver who speaks of herself in third person and likes to sum up her advice in aphorisms.
The first post from Mz. Woo’s G2L was not going to be the first post, but inspiration from a man predicting the end of the world was too good to pass up. This post, called “Hello, World! Glad You Are Still Here!” was originally published May 21, 2011. (The other three posts will be transferred separately over the next few days.)
— Hello, World! Glad You Are Still Here! —
Mz. Woo has been hearing talk, talk, talk of The Rapture that has been predicted for today by one Mr. Harold Camping, a gentleman who has a habit of claiming to know the date of The End. Obviously, if Mz. Woo is sitting here typing this, The End has not come. Truth to tell, Mz. Woo has been the tiniest bit irritated that Mr. Camping and his prediction have gotten so much attention in the last week, particularly because his predictions have been wrong before. Now that the day of The Rapture has come, however, she has changed her mind because everyone is having such fun with the idea.
Mz. Woo’s Facebook friends have posted videos to the following Rapture-related songs:
Macy Halford at The New Yorker urges people to think about what book they would pick as their last read before The Rapture and mentions a good point about whether people can sue for damages caused by the false prediction if The End does not come to pass.
An enterprising entrepreneur has offered to provide Raptured pet owners with atheists who can take care of their pets after they’ve been spirited away.
And Twitter, glorious Twitter, has been abuzz with Rapture one-liners:
@hooksnbooks Is the rapture at 6pm eastern or pacific time?
@graffitiliving A lot of people are disappointed about the Rapture. Cheer up, it’s not the end of the world…
@shayera First call of the morning: “Will the library be open for the rapture?”
@GeorgeTakei Today’s Rapture postponed as Jesus awaits announcement of surprise guest on final Oprah. Savior “hopeful” but “okay with it” if not picked.
It appears that the idea of The Rapture has made us giddy, nay, rapturous, which leads Mz. Woo to her aphorism of the day:
Mz. Woo says: The Rapture may be happening, but not in the way you expect it.