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When it comes to spam, I can sniff it out from a mile away, and I don’t mean the delicious, salty pink mystery meat form of SPAM, either. I am religious about emptying spam from my email accounts and those left in my WordPress spam catcher. While I am ruthless with spam, I do skim items in my spam folders just to make sure a legitimate email or comment hasn’t been mistakenly assigned to a fate of  certain and unnecessary destruction.

Every once in a while, I’ll get a piece of spam that’s poetic in its use of random words. It makes me wonder what sort of program was used to create such works, although I have little hesitation about hitting the delete link.

Today, I found a truly spammy comment (need a penis enlargement?) in my WordPress spam catcher that has reached heights of hilarity previously unknown in the annals of spam. Allow me to share:

HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia xyzrxyz penis enlargement xyzrxyz and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. xyzrxyz penis enlargement xyzrxyz They’re coming back now. xyzrxyz vimax xyzrxyz Please send help! nitip vimax

So, the Russian mafia is now torturing people into posting spam. Um, yeah. So tough.  Don’t you love how the words “penis enlargement” are inserted like subliminal messages?

Now that I’ve shared, it’s time to delete the actual spam.