Tonight, something very unusual happened. Eldest Son asked us if we wanted to go to a high school play. Eldest will be the first to admit that he is anti-social when it comes to big, crowd-gathering events, so this was a shock. But he had a couple of friends in the play, one of whom asked him to come, so he gathered us up (Hubby, Young Son, and me) and we went. Daughter was already at the high school playing in the pep band for a basketball game.
Eldest wasn’t sure whether the play started at 7 or 7:30 p.m., so he suggested we get there early, just in case. We rolled in, paid admission and were told to take a name tag from the table. The tags held the names of various famous people and characters. I chose Juno, Eldest chose Jay Leno, Hubby chose Giuseppe Verdi, and Young Son was Eric Cartman.
We took our seats by 7 and random groupings of young thespians dressed in black took the stage for general silliness and songs. This was the play before the play. At 7:30, the real play began. Strung across the back curtain was a rope to which yellow and green balloons were clipped. They were numbered 1 to 30. An actress introduced us to the play and told us to be ready to interact. At the end of each scene we were to shout out a number. An actor would pop the balloon of the number s/he heard and that was the next scene. The scenes clipped by and were strange and crazy and fun. We were given a menu of the scenes, which I will now reproduce for you. The titles of the scenes give you a sense of the mayhem.
Play title: Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind
2. Big &^$#ing Thing
3. A Flyswatter Swats Away an Inferior Social Networking Website (in Rhythm)
4. Play on Words
7. Hetero Date
8. Mechanical Monkey Singers Present: Last Chance All-Camp Singalong
9. Romeo Colon Duped with a “U” not 2 O’s
10. An Attempt at Connecting with the Mentally Ill Audience
11. Tiny Satan Play
12. Who the Heck is David Andrew?
13. I Remember the Leg
14. Conformity? A-okay with Me
15. A Hemingway Afternoon
19. Fascism: A Picturebook for Children
20. Dancing with the Nerds
21. Heavy PETting or, A Chronologic Recitation of the Development of Plastics Accompanied by Cheap Slapstick and an Ominous Factoid, with One Interruption
22. Danger Can!! The Musical
23. TATTTMYC (these are the things that make you cool)
24. A Hairy Situation
25. The Interview
26. Dandelion Wine
27. Songs of Inanimate Objects
28. The Beaver Play
29. Too Much of a Good Thing (Tssss)
30. Someone Once Told Me When You Wake Up in the Morning You Should Just Be Happy to Be Alive
Whew! That’s it. And for as fast as the scenes moved, I can remember most of them just by looking at those titles.
Following this portion of the evening, there was a 10-minute intermission, after which the students performed the one-act play, “Wiley and the Hairy Man.” They did a marvelous job. Attending made me feel like being in a play again. I was involved in theater in middle and high school. I also realized that the students covered topics that were unmentionable when I was in high school twenty-plus years ago. Rape, hetero, boinking. All were off limits not so very long ago.
We’re so very glad Eldest dragged us to the theater.
Oh, and those name tags? They didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things.