Tags
ankle socks, aphroisms, f**ksox, favorite socks, knee socks, sock drawer, socks, throx
Post number 3 from Mz. Woo’s Guide to Life, Favorite Socks, was originally posted on June 6, 2001.
— Favorite Socks —
Mz. Woo has a drawer full of socks. It is sitting on her dining table, serving as inspiration while she writes this. In her sock drawer are 16 pairs of ankle socks, 15 pairs of knee highs, and 3 pairs of in-betweens. She also has 4 pairs of knee-high nylons, which she never wears (what are they doing in her drawer?), so she isn’t going to count them (too late, already counted), plus 2 pairs of knee highs in the laundry basket and a pair of ankle socks on her feet.
As you can see, Mz. Woo has a lot of socks, which is a necessity in a location that experiences 4 distinct seasons. Also, because socks are small and relatively inexpensive, it is easy to collect great bunches of them.
Among these bunches of socks, Mz. Woo has certain favorites: a grey pair of ankle socks with pink and white flowers, a soft grey pair of knee highs with light blue toes and a light blue ring around the tops, a pair of knee highs in a grey, black and white argyle with a hint of pink, a brown pair of knee highs covered in tiny cream Vs with a fancy green, brown and cream pattern and the tops, and a bright green pair of knee highs (one of which was lost under the washing machine for months and months and only just found).
By looking at this list, Mz. Woo realizes that she has a definite preference for knee highs and socks that are loaded with visual interest. Grey appeals to her, as well, as it is a feature color in 3 of her 5 favorite pairs of socks.
It might be tempting for Mz. Woo to wear her favorite pairs of socks all the time. She was thinking this as she was wearing one of her favorites the other day (the grey knee highs with the light blue toes). Wouldn’t it be nice to wear these socks every day? And then she realized that her shins were sweating. And for as comfortable and lovely as these socks are most of the time, she wanted to peel them off because it was too warm to be wearing knee highs. She ought to have been wearing the grey ankle socks with the pink and white flowers. But, alas! They were back home in her drawer.
Mz. Woo says: No matter how much you love your favorite socks, they cannot do everything for you.
Mz. Woo recommends: Christopher Moore’s F**KSOX, which come not in pairs but in throx, for when you lose a sock.
I have a plastic container overflowing with socks-without-mates. I believe that SOME day I will find the mate for each of these socks. I feel a real sense of awe when I look at my collection of socks-without-mates — I think of all the money invested, all the special occasions I attended while wearing them (in their former socks-with-mates life)….
Any ideas for what to do with all these mateless socks? (Besides, the landfill, I mean.)
I have an answer for you, Karen. Sock creatures! We have a drawer full of cast-off socks in our house. Mostly I use them for cleaning, but a friend of mine recently put out a call on Facebook for socks without mates. He wanted them in order to make the cute sock critters in the book “Socks Appeal.” Check it out. They’re adorable!
☼ Lettuce sea if Aye can bee brief!?:
Concerning: “It might be tempting for Mz. Woo to wear her favorite pairs of socks all the time.”
I don’t think it would be a good idea to wear ALL the Pairs at Once, just stick to one pair at a thyme! I’d worry about heat exhaustion!
You might consider carrying a couple other pairs in your car or purse, so you can switch around, and giving the pleasure of being worn to more pairs per day?! You
might consider Auctioning off your feet to your Sox every day, and the extra income could be used to buy more Socks?! [Don't let THEM know though, as the jealousy of Socks is Legend!]
Alternately, you might wear a different sock from a pair, on each foot, thus doubling your foot & viewing pleasure? What do you care what other people think? Damn the Torpedoes, Full speed ahead!
About Throx: If you buy 3 pairs of each style, you have 4½ pairs that will last for years and years! But, be sure to rotate the “Odd Man Out” so the wear stays even! {Besides you wouldn’t want your Throx crying out: “Bloody Favoritism!”, if some get worn more than the others!?}
I’m just sure you’re wondering: “How would you do that?” …Well, you could pin a little note on the odd man out, and each time you wash them, you winkle one of the just worn ones out? Or, you could keep a Sock Diary which could be Pleasantly Snuggled into your drawer of Magnificent Socks? Of course, that may cut down on the time you have for your family? But it’s for a Just, Noble, and Worthy Cause! Damn the Torpedoes, Full speed ahead!
♪ By the way, for some reason your writings brings Dr Seuss to mind! I don’t know if it’s because of Cats [The Cat in the Hat], or the Socks & Throx [The Thorax, or Fox in Socks], or, if like him, there’s a moral or meaning told simply which the reader has to glimmer out? [Glimmer ...I just couldn't use Winkle again ...soooo soon?!] ♫
◘ I guess I just Can’t be brief!!!
But, on the Bright Side, I’m all caught up with your postings from the point I “Signed On!”, and I’ve Tried & Tried to Winkle for All I’m Worth!
☼ Now, Lettuce Prey?!