Tags
argument, copyblogger, criticism, divorce, katy perry, method blogging, mettle, parents, passion, rob sheridan, seen but not heard, siblings, societal expectation, twitter
This past Friday, I came home to find that I had a few sharply worded comments left on my FtTP blog post pairing Rob Sheridan, artistic director of Nine Inch Nails, with musician Katy Perry. My blog stats for that post were through the roof, as well. Someone had submitted a link to this post on a Nine Inch Nails forum and suggested that I was “bashing” Rob with my post. My intent was not to bash Rob, but to point out a string of Twitter comments he had left that I found disagreeable and why I had found them disagreeable.
Knowing that any time one even hints at criticizing someone related to a well-loved icon, I wrote the post carefully, because, as I said then and I’ll say again here, I think Rob is an artistically talented individual and I wasn’t interested in slamming him as a person. I merely wanted to disagree with what he had said. Of course, no matter how carefully I chose my words, I knew full well someone would take issue with what I had said, so I steeled myself for the inevitable backlash. Which didn’t come … then. But it did this past Friday.
When the challenge of defending my words arises, as it has in the past, I both dread and cherish the opportunity. As a kid, I grew up in a “seen, but not heard” household. Children arguing back to parents was not tolerated. Nor was it allowed in any other child-adult interaction. The natural result of this was that I became a meek teenager and young adult. When I needed to argue back or defend myself, I had great difficulty doing so. I don’t think I’m completely alone in this when compared to my cohorts, although some people (Hubby) have a much easier time talking back effectively when needed. Many of the people my age grew up with the same societal expectation, so we’ve had to figure out how to work through this, with varying degrees of success, depending upon our personalities.
Meek though I may appear to be on first blush, I don’t think that’s necessarily my underlying disposition. Prior to my parents’ divorce, they would argue downstairs after they had sent us kids upstairs to bed. I would hear this and rally my siblings and convince them that we had to go downstairs and stop the fighting. Once we got downstairs, facing two mad parents, I was the one who’d act as spokesperson for the group. I have no memory of how we were received.
We could very well have left my parents to fight, ignored them, rather than stick our noses into the jaws of roaring lions, but I couldn’t do that. It’s not how I’m put together. When something feels wrong, I itch to say something. Not only that, but I like to believe that I’m courageous, that I won’t let a bothersome situation slide by because I’m too wussy to say something.
Growing up the way I did, with not much practice in arguing my case, I have had to work on this aspect of my life. I’m still not where I’d like to be, with rejoinders that roll off my tongue. That’s why I cherish opportunities to defend my position, like the one that came with the Sheridan/Perry blog post. It’s almost as though I’m testing my own mettle by choosing to write about touchy topics. I want to put myself into a place where I have to argue back, which I find is easier for me to do in writing more so than in speaking. My hope is that the practice I get in writing will eventually translate to the verbal realm.
I found a blog post on Copyblogger called Method Blogging that discusses precisely this. It suggests that if you are having trouble blogging that you imagine you are a character who has overcome whatever blogging issue you have. Pretend you are already confident within the space of your blog and you will become confident in the space of your real life. If I practice the fine art of laying out a convincing argument in my blog posts, perhaps my tongue will eventually allow me the same ability.
There’s another dirty little secret about why I cherish the opportunity for written argument. The process makes me so passionate that words flow out of my mind and through my fingers as though I am possessed. When you’re a writer, this state is practically unbeatable as far as production is concerned. Just take a look at my long-winded comment on the Sheridan/Perry post and you’ll see what I mean. The state of mind that produced that output continued until the wee hours of the morning and on into the next day. While I wouldn’t want to be in that state continually, a periodic experience like this reminds me why I love to write.
I’m not convinced you’d carry over that confidence like you (or that site) might suggest. Wouldn’t ‘pretending’ to be another character in a blog only translate into ‘pretending’ to be another character in the verbal world? You’d still be you …but with added acting credentials. Maybe? I’m sure that would be the case with me.
I did read your Rob S post, and while I both laughed and sympathized with him, I thought you did a fine job in stating your opinion. I agree he is sore. Frustrated …disgruntled, petty/small-minded perhaps. But in his defense, the ‘rebuilding from the inside’ suggestion of yours might be off. Think of it instead as if the tools he needs to construct anything are limited/restricted by the tool makers themselves (Music Business). He can build any type of building he wants …but it’s going to come out their way!
I agree with your views in your original post. I love odd combinations, and a Perry / Sheridan combo would be highly interesting (although I agree that those experiments can go wrong as well – I agree for example with Sherridan on the last James Bond song).
If fantasizing about NIN/Enya duets isn’t enough for you, I recommend the free music of French mashup artist ToTom (http://cli.gs/LAu8Hp), who has mixed NIN songs with other artists in a brilliant way (especially the “With Boots” and “Bootleg is Resistance I-III” albums, http://cli.gs/PJg8Ma , scroll down). One of my favorites: “These Boots Are Made For Walking” vs. “Getting Smaller” on the album “With Boots”.
(Did I really write “I agree” three times in one paragraph? Shocking.)
Hi, Troy – I think the goal with “pretending” is that if you pretend long enough, you become what you are pretending to be, not that you just continuing acting. I think an easy parallel is that when you are in a grouchy mood, if you force yourself to smile, soon your mood will improve. Not that this is particularly easy, mind you. It takes practice, sometimes lots of practice.
I want to clarify the building analogy I used in the Sheridan/Perry post. Perhaps we’re both talking about the same thing, but each using an opposing word. I used “destruction”, while you are using “construction”. When you are on the inside of a solid societal institution (i.e. the Music Business), it takes a lot more courage to try to change that institution from your position on the inside. I believe that Trent tried to do that (and tried really hard), but found that the institution was far too entrenched in The Way It’s Always Done Things. It’s easier (and prevents a lot of head banging) to step outside that institution and create your own rules, which, of course, Trent is doing now that he is free of any contracts. He’s doing this very well, imho, and as a result, he is rewriting the Music Biz from the outside in.
On a local level, I’ve watched this struggle between creative people attempting to push forth their vision and the entrenched institutional people holding steady with What’s Always Been Done. I understand the frustration because I’ve been in the position of being the person with the unusual ideas. I watch Trent and the NIN organization carefully in order to get ideas on how to break through road blocks.
Hi, Timm – Thanks for the links. I haven’t had a chance to listen yet, but love these sorts of mashups. I came to NIN’s music through such a combination: Richard Cheese’s version of Closer. It’s classic. If you haven’t heard it, the best way I can describe it is that the Cheese version makes it sound as though Closer was performed on Sesame Street.
Found another cool musical mashup tonight via a Copyblogger tweet. This one doesn’t involve NIN. It’s Super Freak by Rick James mashed with Duran Duran’s Girls on Film. It’s called Super Freaks on Film:
http://blip.fm/profile/entreproducer/blip/2697914
Thanks, guys, for your comments.
P.S. No worries about the 3 x “I agree”. I repeat myself, too. Shocking!
I see your point Mary …but I can’t help to feel that pretending is still pretending. In my life for example, I’m a shy/introverted person – and yet I’m on stage for a living. After thousands of performances though, I’m still a shy person. Practiced and/or rehearsed yes, but still shy. But I do sincerely hope your verbal skills reach the level of your written!
I think we are on the same page about NIN. Stepping outside and creating your own rules is difficult, but in this situation is the best way to proceed. Which begs the question though, why would a NIN artistic director even be concerned/upset with what the ‘Biz’ is doing in the first place?
I see from your website, Troy, that you are a musician and play bass. Do you also sing or speak to the audience? I, too, am an introvert and when I have to get up in front of a group to speak, my heart pounds like mad and my mouth goes dry. If I have to do it over and over again, quite a bit of my fear goes away. It’s not that I’m less introverted, but that I’ve gotten use to speaking in front of an audience and am more comfortable with my topic – like you being practiced & rehearsed.
I think this is what method blogging is about. If I can consistently think of arguments or comebacks on my blog and make them clear, then I have a better chance of doing so verbally. It’s like practicing. Maybe “pretending” wasn’t the best word choice in that blog post, because I’m not pretending when I write. My writing is closer to what’s going on in my head versus what I have time and opportunity to talk about during the day.
You raise a very good question about why NIN’s artistic director would care about what’s going on in the Music Biz. It should be inconsequential to him, but he’s human, so I suppose he feels the need to weigh in on the topic now and again.