In my last post, Mortification, I discussed how panic set in upon rereading an older story I had written and thinking that it wasn’t any good. I had several thoughtful and encouraging responses about my writing. (Thanks, peeps!)
Before I posted Mortification, a brief thought flitted through my mind. I wondered if I was being self-indulgent in revealing fears about my writing. You see, perhaps 95 percent of the time, I feel okay about my writing. The process keeps me entertained and I’m especially pleased when my writing gets me to feel strong emotion – laughing, crying, being surprised. Then there’s that 5 percent of the time when doubt floods my mind and shakes me to the core. That’s when I wonder why I spend so much time writing and whether I could be doing something more productive. Even without outside encouragement from my husband, my kids, and my peeps, that thought lasts maybe two-and-a-half seconds. I can’t imagine life without writing. It’s like breathing for me.
While it seems self-indulgent to write about a fear that doesn’t strike often, the fact is that the fear is there, nonetheless, and I wanted people to know that, especially other writers. If you question your own writing, you are not alone. The most effective way to deal with the situation is to keep writing. (It also helps tremendously if you have a gang of cheerleaders.)
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February 16, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Alice Smuda
Didn’t get a chance to comment on your “Mortification” yesterday, so read your comments tonight. Have to agree with one and all “you just go girl” you have the knowledge and the talent and do a great job!!!!!
Ali
February 17, 2008 at 4:05 am
Manoj Sterex
Its always good to have doubts. I guess 5% is a healthy number of doubts you get.
Only if you question, can you think of finding answers to them. Yeah, like you said, there are a hundred better things you can do instead of writing; but satisfaction is when someone regards your work as something worth reading.
Very nice you feeling that way about writing. I somehow cannot make myself so much time to write as you do.
I guess I’ll have my days when I can; until then I keep trying. 
(Yeah, I must put away some money for the cheerleaders from now itself!
)
February 17, 2008 at 3:11 pm
knightofswords
It’s quite natural, I think, to look at much of what we write as “never quite finished” even after it’s posted or published. In looking at our older material, we’re seeing our evolution as writers. Our voices mature over time, don’t they? But we can still be good at every stage of the process.
Malcolm
February 17, 2008 at 3:29 pm
woowooteacup
Hey, Manoj, I didn’t used to write as much as I now do. When I was in college, all I had time for was college papers. Plus, I didn’t think of myself as a writer then. I was solely an artist. The writing thing developed slowly, over years. It was only about eight years ago that I officially began to say that I was a writer, but it took years of writing in dribs and drabs for me to get to that point. Once I called myself a writer, I became even more committed to the path and more time became available. It also helped to realize that the more I wrote, the more I thought about writing, and the more I thought about writing, the more I realized that in thinking about stories, I was actually composing them in my head. That’s as much a part of the process as putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. A little at a time – that’s all you’ve got to do. The momentum will eventually pull you along.
Hi, Malcolm. I like that – our evolution as writers. That’s it for all of life, isn’t it? I’ve become fascinated with the ideas of evolution and extinction and the cycling of life, so much so that I’m working on a story idea with those themes. How appropriate to think about evolution in terms of the words on the page, too. Hmmm. I’m going to add this thought to the notes for my story. It might come in handy. Thanks for commenting.
February 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm
woowooteacup
Hi, Ali – Thanks for being one of my cheerleaders! I have one heck of a gang of them, don’t I? Maybe I should call you all my Posse of Positivity.
February 19, 2008 at 11:21 am
Joanne
I don’t think it is self-indulgent. Fear is fear and the best way to face it is to admit it, talk about it, write about it. I am plagued by doubt 95% of the time and it always helps me to hear other people talk about their doubt because I feel less alone AND it makes me braver.
February 19, 2008 at 5:24 pm
woowooteacup
Yes, Joanne – I have always lived by the motto, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Sharing does help to alleviate fear and bolster courage. It also helps to know that the feeling of fear is as fleeting as any other feeling. The winds will shift and the fear will eventually be gone.